It was when I was in my early twenties, having graduated from university that I almost by accident came across the untapped potential of rituals, belief, motivation and the subconscious mind. Was it an accident? I’m hoping by the end of this blog you’ll find the answer.
Having coasted through university with last minute assignments, a risk-based approach to exams, sleepless nights (not studying) and at the end graduating with a fairly respectable degree. I had achieved the highest level of education that I was prepared to put myself through. Now it was time to face the world, put all of this learning and experience to the test and become the best damn graduate The University of Northampton had ever produced.
I’m going to give numerous examples of how I created rituals, called upon a subconscious belief system and motivational energy to achieve goal, after goal. At the time, I wasn’t very well read on this topic, I didn’t know that there were theories and writings that described this. All I knew was that without belief, I would not fulfil the incredible aspirations that I had set myself. Today, I’m glad to say, at the age of twenty-seven, I’m already well on the way to achieving those aspirations. I’ve now learned how to tap into an energy that will make all of that possible and more.
After university, I struggled with motivation. I had doubts and I was constantly wondering what the next stage of my life would look like. Did I waste the last three years? Did I really learn anything? At this point I decided that the only way to ensure success was through a graduate scheme. I convinced myself that if I could make dozens of applications, eventually the odds should work out in my favour. I told this to myself over and over again, regardless of the rejections I faced, until I started to believe it. I surrounded myself with motivation. When I was feeling down or struggling to see a way through, I listened to YouTube videos of motivational speeches, I plastered my room with motivational quotes, Chinese proverbs and messages from successful people.
My sister (a year older, but a lot more mature than I am), bought me a small graduation gift. It was a mug, blue, my favourite colour. Printed was the picture of a teddy, holding a scroll, wearing a graduation cap and gown. The scroll had two important words written on it, ‘top graduate’. This gift is a significant part of my story. I had my morning coffee from this mug for years, I still do to this day. I wasn’t actually a top graduate in the literal sense of the phrase. I didn’t achieve a first-class degree, nor did I graduate from a world-renowned university. However, when I sipped from this mug, I felt like I was on top of the world. I had a clear focus, an unwavering objective, I felt motivated and rejuvenated. When I was drinking my coffee, I knew that I could achieve anything I set my mind to. Regardless of the challenges, I could see a way through, and I knew that I would come out on top.
Inevitably, all of the belief and positivity that I instilled into my mind, resulted in successfully securing a graduate scheme. It was the role of a Business Analyst (BA). Three months of unpaid training followed by opportunities with top clients. The training was in Leeds, I was based in Wolverhampton. I had already by this point transferred my part time job from a local store, to Evesham, some remote part of Worcestershire. Carpooling there and back with a friend to work for a previous boss. There is a funny story here about how we got into such a mess, but we can discuss that another time. The important part to note is we called on a favour, it got me the income I needed, for the exact number of days that I needed it. I left the same week that I started my first paid placement.
The weekly commute was roughly 440 miles and about ten hours of driving time. A big commitment considering I didn’t actually know what a BA did. I can recall a number of occasions where my training peers asked me ‘why are you wasting your time, what are you doing here if you don’t even know what a Business Analyst does?’ I didn’t really have an answer, but the thought behind it was simple. I needed my graduate scheme to fuel my subconscious mind into believing in my potential. I was going to make a success of it, regardless of what it was. The ‘what’ was just minor detail.
Over the last four years my time behind the wheel hasn’t decreased. Since then, I have become an expert in converting idle driving time into motivation and learning. Whilst driving I listen to podcasts, music and radio. It’s music that I want to discuss here. Whether it’s during a long drive or a walk to work, I see pictures and find myself living and breathing the lyrics. My genres of choice are hip-hop, rap and grime. I’m not living the same lifestyle as some of these artists, but I can still relate. I become energised and I attach meaning and motive to every lyric. The feeling becomes more powerful as I memorise the lines and voice the words in my head as the song plays in the background. Every time I hear a track, I see the journey that I am on and I visualise success.
When I first started my graduate role and moved cities, I told myself that the next two years were going to be about learning and having the time of my life. Even though I was living at the edge of my overdraft, money wasn’t going to be an obstacle and saving wasn’t going to be a priority for me, I wanted to spend. I convinced myself that this was a justified approach, as spending unreservedly and learning unconditionally was going to unlock a great deal of future earning potential. The amount of parties and nights out I had during those two years, were probably enough for a lifetime. I would have parties with my flatmates and organise socials with my teammates. Whatever the occasion, it was going to be a night to remember. What a time I had! Looking back…. what a network I had built!
Whilst belief is a major part of achievement, I don’t think that belief alone is enough for anyone to become successful. Belief has to be accompanied by knowledge. T-shaped is a phrase used in agile scrum, this was the approach I adopted for building my skillset as a ‘team member’. I tried my hand in everything. I was a BA, led on testing, supported the product owner with proxy decisions and facilitated scrum ceremonies with a good handle on JIRA and reporting. I stayed late in the office to tackle tasks and learn more after almost everybody else had gone home.
I remember a particular time in Brussels really well. How could I not? I was twenty-four, having sat in three-day meetings and workshops at the European Commission. This was the end of a packed first year and I wanted to take this opportunity to reflect. It was a great scene, Christmas time in Brussels. The German Markets were on, the streets were lit up beautifully, the locals were friendly and pubs welcoming. I sat in a bar for hours. Pints of Belgian beer as the owner continued to top up my salted crisps. Making me thirsty, good lad, another beer please. I had come so far in such a short amount of time. I wanted to write a message to myself about what I had learnt and set some goals for what I wanted to achieve. I called it ‘notes from a Brussels Bar’, it felt like my own personal novel. Unfortunately, I lost this book recently, just as I finally became ready to share its contents. Never mind, I remember some of the general themes:
- Career progression
- Monetary success
- Time for family
- Being more charitable
- Staying humble
There were sixteen points from what I remember. I’m confident that if this book was still in my possession, I could tick off a fair few of these. Anyway, I’m going to write new goals, I’ll be sure to make a backup this time and I’ll share in a few years’!
Let’s fast forward a little bit, to the start of my journey as a contractor. I pray that I stay humble, but even still I have material desires and I spoil myself from time to time. A month after starting to contract, I decided I needed a new car. An Audi A6, S-Line Black Edition. 6 months old. Even got a private plate with my name on it. Just a year later, I had completed 25000 miles, proof that I deserve to drive in comfort and style! I’m a big fan of Snapback caps, with a stand full of them. I bought one with the words ‘Think Big’ on the front, with the shape of a bodybuilder in the background. This one was for my car. I positioned it on my rear parcel shelf, with the words looking outwards. By this point I was twenty-six, already doing big things. Now I’ve got a big car, living a lifestyle that I wouldn’t exactly have imaged so soon. To me, the words ‘Think Big’ looking out at me is not only a reminder of how far I have come, but how far I still have left to go. There are days where I’m disheartened, demotivated, content with where I am. This is to remind me that my journey has only just begun, and my long-term goals are worth fighting for.
As I started to gain experience, I started to feel more powerful. This brought about a pressure that I hadn’t felt before. I was filled not only with the desire to do well, but the absolute need to impress and overachieve. As a result, I set my standards and expectations higher yet again. Now I walked around with a little more purpose, with a more grounded confidence. Deep down, there were still some insecurities that I needed to address. I was nervous, anxious even. This is where belief and rituals came in. Even though I believed in myself and the approach that had got me this far, I struggled to shake off an underlying uncertainty and sense of self-doubt.
Just as I started on NHS Jobs with Difrent, I took a little holiday and bought my first watch. Wearing this every morning was a daily reminder of how far I had come, and it gave me the confidence to know that I was going to make a success of each day. I’ve always been interested in people and the thought process behind them. For years I’ve read books such as ‘Thinking Fast and Slow’, ‘The Alchemist’, ’48 Laws of power’ etc. The latter is what I was reading during this particular stage. I had the book positioned on my apartment shelf in Newcastle, just next to a Dragon ball (for those that know). Every evening when I came home from work, I would first take off my watch and place it onto the book. This would fill me with a sense of accomplishment. Then in the morning when I woke up to start the day, I would pick my watch up from the book and place it on my wrist before heading out of the door. This would provide me with confidence, energy and a sense of purpose. This was one of the rituals that allowed me to overcome the negativity and self-doubt that sometimes consumed me.
People are important to me and I am fortunate to have quite a large, diverse network. Whether it’s family, my childhood friends, university mates or my professional network. I find it’s important to be around likeminded individuals, with shared values and a similar vision. When I come across difficulties, I know exactly who to reach out to, those that will understand and be able to help me through. If I’m feeling the need to blow off some steam, I’ll reach out to people that would respond with ‘let’s go out and get f*cked up’. If I’m feeling demotivated or uninspired, there are others that I can call that will understand what I’m feeling and be able to talk me through. Sometimes you just need a chat or people to cheer you up, I find it’s important to reach out rather than keeping things bottled up.
On the other hand, people aren’t going to be with you 24/7 and it’s important to have a varied approach to keeping a positive mental health. I’ve talked quite a bit about belief. I find that if you tell yourself something enough, the universe will align nicely to bring those things to you. With mental health as a curve, you’re going to have good days and bad days. On the bad days I tell myself this ‘I’m happy, I’m healthy, I’m prosperous, I’m profitable, I’m unaffected, I’m unbothered’. Those are the things that I either want, or I struggle with. If I say it enough, I’m a firm believer that it will happen.
This last one is quite personal to me and when all else fails, it allows me to attach an explanation to something I may not otherwise be able to explain. I set up a hierarchy with faith at the top. I’ve talked through a few rituals, the power of belief and the subconscious mind. If all of those things are governed by faith, and the outcome that I was striving for was to fail, at least then I can default to the position that it was due to a higher purpose. At that point, it’s out of my control, it’s god’s will. What I must do is regroup, take stock and refocus.
To conclude, I believe that there are three things that can provide motivation, ultimately leading to success. To give it a fancy name, we can call it ‘The Three Attributes of Accomplishment’. Below is a visual depiction of this model, remember everything is better as a triangle.
Belief is the foundation, because with knowledge and perseverance but no belief, we’d be working towards a dead end. With belief and perseverance but no knowledge, we’re not giving our mind the fuel it needs to achieve. With belief and knowledge, yet no perseverance, underachievement is inevitable. The perfect triangle is belief, knowledge and perseverance. These are the three attributes that will work simultaneously, providing direction, ambition and purpose, motivating us to achieve our goals.
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